I think that they will for some period. I hope that eventually they realize the score and understand. It’s a crap shoot, but I’m willing to take that chance.

Let me explain.

My wife believes it is our responsibility to keep our boys from getting hurt. I disagree. I believe it’s my job to keep them from getting killed and/or seriously broken.

For example, a few days ago we were driving somewhere and my eldest began screaming. She immediately jumped into action to find out what the malfunction was and resolve it. That’s good. We both determined at the same time that he had gotten his hand stuck between the two child seats. He was stuck and freaking out.

She began to reach back to help get his hand out. Just as she began to reach out I snatched her arm and kind of motioned not to. She was irritated to say the least, but rolled with it.

I then told him I’d love to help out but he needed to calm down and stop screaming first. It took several minutes, but eventually he did. At that point, I got him to explain to me how he got his hand in that position. I then helped talk him through figuring out how he could get it back out.

It took some time and tears, but he did it himself. Next time he will have the experience of getting himself unstuck. That in theory will prevent the panic. That in and of itself will increase his odds of resolving the issue on his own even if the situation is different.

I can see him (and his mother) being pretty pissed off at me for not just helping him out. Her stance is that he was hurting. Why would you not help out your own child while he is hurting? I can see that point of view. I guess I feel like the greater good lies in building up his self confidence and ability to self rescue in a future situation … maybe mom and I won’t be around?

Another example occurred on Halloween. Both boys had doctor visits. I had the oldest in the exam room waiting for the doc. He decided he needed to climb up on the table. He reached onto it and tried pulling himself up. He reached pretty far back onto the ‘bed’ and tried to drag himself up onto it. The problem was that paper sheet that goes along it. All he was able to do is drag that sheet toward himself.

He asked for help. I suspect mom would have either declined to do so, as he prolly shouldn’t have been scaling that, or to have just put him up there.

Not this guy, as that is the kind of asshole I can be!

Instead I explained to him that the reason he wasn’t getting up there was due to the paper sliding. That he’d be better off planting his hands close to the edge. Pushing/pulling straight up and then kinda tumbling onto the table once he had reached that level.

He agreed that was a good plan and executed it perfectly. Again and again and again and …

I suspect he doesn’t ‘get it’ yet, it’s my hope that he will one day.

Same goes for his younger brother … he’s on track for the same kind of shit. He’s just not quite there yet.